Relationships

Human life is lived in relationship.

Much of what we experience—connection, conflict, intimacy, misunderstanding—arises in how we relate to others. These dynamics are shaped by our biological inheritance, our psychological development, and the social and cultural environments we are part of.

In recent times, many of the structures that once organised relationships have changed or weakened. This has created both greater freedom and greater uncertainty. Expectations are less clear. Roles are less defined. And the conditions for stable, meaningful connection are often harder to establish and maintain.

From the perspective of life telos, relationships can be understood as part of the processes that support life—through bonding, cooperation, development, and the raising of the next generation. When these processes are disrupted or misunderstood, difficulties tend to arise.

The following videos explore some of these challenges, including the dynamics between men and women, the impact of changing social conditions, and the question of how we remain connected to one another in a more fragmented world.

What Love Costs and What it Gives

In this video, I explore a developmental model of love, moving through four stages: needs, desires, sacrifice, and what might be called transcendent love. Each stage reflects a different way of relating—to ourselves, to others, and to life itself.

Men and Women: Our Deep Past and a New Orientation

In this video, I look at our evolutionary and historical past to better understand why men and women relate to one another the way they do, and how a series of cultural, technological, and moral shifts — from the Enlightenment, to the Industrial Revolution, to contraception and modern individualism — have quietly reshaped our expectations of intimacy, commitment, and partnership.

Equality and Difference: The Tragic Tension Between Men and Women

In this video, I explore what I believe is one of the deepest tensions shaping relationships between men and women today: the tension between equality and difference. We care deeply about justice, fairness, and equality. At the same time, men and women are shaped by real biological, psychological, and relational differences that bring with them unequal capacities, vulnerabilities, and responsibilities. When these differences are denied, moralised, or treated as mere social constructions, resentment often follows.

Sexual Selection and the Evolution of Desire

In this video, I explore sexual selection and the evolution of desire as a way of understanding persistent patterns of attraction, conflict, and confusion between men and women.

Masculine and Feminine: How Healthy Traits Turn Toxic

Masculine and feminine can be understood as life-serving modes of perception, action, and power that evolved because they helped human beings cooperate, survive, and build stable societies. In this video I talk about how they can become toxic.

Parenting in a Fractured World: A Historical Perspective

In this video, I step back to take a historical perspective on parenting: how it has changed over time, how our cultural shifts have shaped the expectations we place on parents, and what we may have lost along the way. From traditional societies to the pressures of modern life, I explore the forces that have disrupted our shared narratives, weakened communal structures, and left many parents feeling isolated, overwhelmed, or unsure of how to raise resilient, grounded human beings.

Love: It’s Complicated

This video explores intimate relationships at a deeper level than most popular discussions.